Job Vacancy – Premier of the State of SA
Applicant #1 – Jay Weatherill.
Biggest achievements –
- UNPRECEDENTED run of making SA’s level of unemployment the highest in Australia,
- RECORD levels of turmoil and mismanagement in the Health sector,
- HIGHEST electricity prices in the world,
- STATEWIDE factory and industry closures,
- HALF – HEARTED support for ICAC,
- INCOMPETENCE in management and tragic results under his watch of children in State care,
- CREATING levels of confidence and optimism that saw a net exodus of over 6,000 South Australians from this State,
- UNPRECEDENTED absence of transparency in government and sale of publicly owned assets,
- AVERAGE household water bills growing 233% between 2001-02 and 2016-17,
- STAGGERINGLY unpopular and pointless proposals relating to time zones, nuclear dumps and driverless cars,
- ENORMOUS benefit to the State when Mr Weatherill’s extraordinary hubris saw him assemble his own film crews to film him on his overseas travels.
Applicant #2 – Nick Xenophon.
Biggest achievements –
- WALKED away from the Liberals early on in his career to flirt with Labor,
- GOT into state Parliament with less than 3% of the vote while promising the world in relation to gambling and pokies (anyone notice any difference yet?),
- ENTERED State Parliament when he saw the opportunity to be king maker,
- WALKED (again) away from State Parliament when he saw the opportunity to be a bigger king maker in Federal Parliament
- WHEN a number of crazy Queenslanders and a few even crazier West Australians had the same idea and spoiled his plans, walked (again) away from Federal Parliament
- SEEKS now to return to the first Parliament that he spurned because he once again sees an opportunity to be king maker (if not king).
To paraphrase Paul Keating – all nuts and no baklava.
Applicant #3 – Steven Marshall.
Biggest achievements – T.B.A.
Applicant #4 – Daffy Duck.
Biggest achievements – makes people happy.
My vote?
Go Daffy!
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